Monthly Archives: January 2012

The Rowan tree and the stillness

The wind blew the rowan tree at the back of the house down a couple of days ago.   She could have fallen on the house,  with the right wind direction for destruction,  but of course she didn’t.  There is so much protection and nourishment here.  I intuited its fall as I phoned the house agent to let her know it may happen and returned to the window to see the roots out of the ground and her horizontal  form.  I felt  such a peace in her surrender.  It was poignant.  And I felt so blessed that the house was unscathed.

The rowan and her protective energy.  I had been taking the findhorn essence of rowan in the autumn,  with startling effects.  In the end I had simply taken to meditating with the rowan tree behind my bedroom as the remedy proved too strong.  The key words were forgiveness.  The affirmation is as Marilyn,  the maker of the essences writes is as follows:  ‘I experience forgiveness of myself and others and surrender to unconditional healing love.’

The winds and gales of winter these last two weeks.  How I have felt stories rage through me and archetypal patterns come to the surface to be acknowledged and unshackled from their prisons.  I love the work of Hellinger,  and practice constellation work as part of my practice.  The healing that can come from unheard voices finally being announced.  The airing of shame,  guilt and disappointment.  What it can free.  I had felt the winds as a great unhingeing which had shaken ancestral and cultural realisations onto my doorstep for me to bless and forgive with all my heart. 

I had also experienced a great film loop being repeated,  as they do until they are complete,  knowing this time,  that in my wiser state of mind I could keep my centre and bring great healing to this script by being compassionate and holding belief in healing.  I think I can safely say that I have wore the acute anxiety and let it release from my system and born only faith as an armour to see me through to the safe shores of love and healing.  I feel calm and open to all possibilities which bring the next part of the story.

Journeying with the spirit of the rowan to check her soul would go safely back home,  I was struck by how much I felt close to her.  The neighbours we have that grow into us so quickly.  A short relationship of 5 months,  but very deep,  helped by the remedy I guess.    In the gap of her absence,  I feel the calm too.   Like we are even more together now.  It is what I always sense with death,  and the realisation always surprises me.  At this time of year in the medicine wheel,  when the darkness has reign and we live more in death than life the reality of the closeness of the other side is even more tangible.  The view up the garden is open and I sense she is not there with her wide protective arms which with the wrong wind direction could have been a danger.

And I think on protection,  and the archetypes we are born into of the earth mother and the earth father.  How the parents  feel the ancestral difficulties of being able to stay true and centred as the mother or father to the child. How,  as children we are grooved in the marks of  worries and separation which are born by the parents. And then, the real story of how  as adults we have the possibility,  working with nature and her cycles,  working with the ways of cleansing and letting go, and then planting new true seeds of stories of finding  our own true mother or father archetypes.  We can be centred in the process  and hold the responsibility of healing the wounds,  letting out the pain,  setting new belief systems in place to benefit all generations.

And I think of the rowan and the journey I have been on with her since I moved here and the space she has left,  and the protector within myself that I now refer to noticing she is not there anymore.  Noticing also,  in her instability in the end,  I was more fearful of her crushing me.  But she didn’t.  The winds and the grace of destiny installed a peaceful surrender because it was time.  I had learnt her lesson as a nature mother and she left me with her medicine.

And I know I am the rowan now.  I blend with her power.  I am the protector and the faith,  because I can forgive and I surrender to unconditional love.

 

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